Addressing Concerns Guide

When reference checks or background research reveals concerns about a potential band member, how you address them can make the difference between missing out on a great fit and avoiding a costly mistake. This guide provides a framework for having honest, direct conversations about concerns while giving candidates fair opportunity to explain context.

Why Address Concerns Directly

Benefits of Direct Conversation:

• Get the full story and context
• Give candidates a fair chance to explain
• Demonstrate your band's communication culture
• Make informed decisions based on complete information
• Build trust through transparency

Risks of Not Addressing Concerns:

• Making decisions based on incomplete information
• Missing out on great members due to misunderstandings
• Bringing in members with unresolved issues
• Setting a precedent of avoiding difficult conversations

Types of Concerns

Musical Concerns

• Skill level questions
• Style fit doubts
• Technical ability gaps
• Experience level mismatches

Interpersonal Concerns

• Personality conflicts mentioned
• Communication style issues
• Reliability questions
• Attitude problems reported

Professional Concerns

• Commitment level doubts
• Schedule conflicts
• Financial responsibility issues
• Past band departures

Behavioral Concerns

• Substance use issues
• Punctuality problems
• Conflict history
• Professionalism questions

The Concern Conversation Framework

Step 1: Prepare

Before the Conversation:

1. Clarify exactly what the concern is
2. Gather all relevant information
3. Determine if it's a dealbreaker or manageable
4. Plan your approach
5. Choose the right setting

Questions to Ask Yourself:

• What specifically concerns me?
• Where did this information come from?
• How reliable is the source?
• Is this a pattern or isolated incident?
• What would make this concern manageable?

Step 2: Set the Stage

Opening the Conversation: "Thanks for taking the time to talk. As part of our process, we check references and do some background research. Something came up that I'd like to discuss with you directly to get your perspective."

Key Principles:

• Be direct but respectful
• Assume positive intent
• Focus on understanding, not accusing
• Create safe space for honest dialogue
• Listen more than you talk

Step 3: Present the Concern

How to Frame It:

• State the concern factually
• Mention the source (if appropriate)
• Avoid judgmental language
• Express desire to understand
• Give space for response

Example Scripts:

For Reliability Concerns: "When I spoke with reference, they mentioned that punctuality was sometimes an issue. I'd like to hear your perspective on that and understand what was going on."

For Interpersonal Concerns: "I heard that there were some conflicts in your previous band. Can you tell me about what happened and what you learned from that experience?"

For Commitment Concerns: "Your schedule seems pretty full. I want to make sure we're on the same page about time commitment. Can we talk about how this would fit with your other obligations?"

For Skill Concerns: "During the audition, I noticed specific thing. I'm wondering if that's representative of your current level or if there were other factors at play."

Step 4: Listen and Clarify

Active Listening:

• Let them fully explain
• Don't interrupt
• Ask clarifying questions
• Acknowledge their perspective
• Look for patterns in their response

Clarifying Questions:

• "Can you tell me more about that?"
• "What was the context?"
• "How have you addressed this since then?"
• "What did you learn from that experience?"
• "How would you handle that differently now?"

Red Flags in Responses:

• Blaming others entirely
• Defensiveness or anger
• Inconsistent stories
• Minimizing serious issues
• No acknowledgment of their role
• No evidence of growth or learning

Green Flags in Responses:

• Taking responsibility
• Showing self-awareness
• Demonstrating growth
• Specific examples of change
• Honest about challenges
• Asking good questions

Step 5: Assess and Decide

Decision Framework:

Dealbreakers (Usually):

• Dishonesty about the concern
• No acknowledgment of the issue
• Blaming everyone else
• Anger or hostility in response
• Pattern of serious issues with no change
• Values misalignment

Manageable (Usually):

• Honest acknowledgment
• Clear context that explains the concern
• Evidence of growth and learning
• Specific steps taken to address
• Isolated incident, not pattern
• Willingness to discuss openly

Needs More Information:

• Conflicting accounts
• Unclear circumstances
• Need to verify details
• Want to see in action
• Requires trial period

Conversation Templates

Template 1: Reliability Concern

Opening: "I want to talk about something that came up in my reference check. Reference mentioned that there were some challenges with specific issue. I'd like to understand what was happening from your perspective."

Follow-up Questions:

• "What was going on in your life at that time?"
• "How have things changed since then?"
• "What systems do you have in place now to ensure reliability?"
• "How would you handle specific scenario with our band?"

Closing: "I appreciate you being open about this. It helps me understand the full picture. Let me think about this and I'll get back to you by date."

Template 2: Interpersonal Conflict

Opening: "I understand there was some conflict in your previous band. Conflicts happen in every band, so I'm not concerned that it happened. I'm more interested in understanding how you handled it and what you learned."

Follow-up Questions:

• "What was the conflict about?"
• "What was your role in the situation?"
• "How did you try to resolve it?"
• "What would you do differently now?"
• "What did you learn about yourself?"

Closing: "Thanks for being honest about that. It sounds like you've done some good reflection. I appreciate your willingness to discuss it openly."

Template 3: Commitment/Schedule Concern

Opening: "I want to make sure we're aligned on time commitment. Looking at your schedule, I'm wondering how band commitment would fit with other obligations. Can we talk through that?"

Follow-up Questions:

• "Walk me through a typical week for you."
• "How would you prioritize if there's a conflict?"
• "What's your plan for managing everything?"
• "Have you talked with family/employer/etc. about this commitment?"
• "What would you need from us to make this work?"

Closing: "I want to make sure this is sustainable for you and fair to the band. Let's both think about whether this is the right fit timing-wise."

Template 4: Skill/Experience Concern

Opening: "I noticed specific thing during the audition. I want to understand if that's where you're at currently or if there were other factors."

Follow-up Questions:

• "How would you assess your current level?"
• "What are you working on improving?"
• "How do you typically prepare for specific situation?"
• "Would you be comfortable with specific requirement?"
• "What support would you need to succeed in this role?"

Closing: "I appreciate your honesty about where you're at. Let me think about whether we can provide the right environment for you to succeed."

Red Flag Assessment Worksheet

Concern Details

• What is the specific concern?
• Source of information:
• How reliable is the source?
• Is this a pattern or isolated incident?
• How recent is this concern?

Candidate's Response

• Did they acknowledge the issue?
• What explanation did they provide?
• What context was relevant?
• What have they done to address it?
• How did they respond emotionally?

Impact Assessment

• How serious is this concern?
• Could this impact the band negatively?
• Is this manageable with clear expectations?
• What would need to be true for this to work?
• What's the risk if we proceed?

Decision Factors

• Evidence of growth/change:
• Self-awareness level:
• Alignment with band values:
• Willingness to address:
• Overall gut feeling:

Decision

• Dealbreaker - do not proceed
• Manageable - proceed with clear expectations
• Needs more information - specify what
• Trial period - specify terms

When a Concern is a Dealbreaker

Clear Dealbreakers:

• Dishonesty or lying
• Serious values misalignment
• Unwillingness to discuss
• Pattern of serious issues with no change
• Hostility or aggression
• Legal/safety concerns

How to Communicate: "I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me. After considering everything, I don't think this is the right fit. I wish you the best in finding the right band."

What NOT to Say:

• Don't give false hope
• Don't over-explain
• Don't blame them
• Don't ghost them
• Don't be vague if they ask for feedback

When a Concern is Manageable

Manageable with Clear Expectations:

• Isolated past incidents with evidence of growth
• Skill gaps that can be developed
• Schedule challenges with clear solutions
• Communication style differences
• Minor reliability issues with plans to address

How to Proceed:

1. Clearly state the concern
2. Agree on expectations
3. Define success metrics
4. Set check-in points
5. Document the agreement

Example: "I appreciate your honesty about the punctuality issues in your last band. I can see you've thought about it and have a plan. Here's what I need: specific expectations. Can you commit to that? Let's check in after the first month to see how it's going."

Documentation Template

Concern Conversation Record

Date: _______________ Candidate: _______________ Concern Discussed: _______________

Candidate's Explanation:Summary of their response

Key Points:

• Point 1
• Point 2
• Point 3

My Assessment:

• Credibility of explanation: High/Medium/Low
• Evidence of growth: Yes/No/Unclear
• Alignment with values: Strong/Moderate/Weak
• Risk level: Low/Medium/High

Decision:

• Proceed without conditions
• Proceed with clear expectations: specify
• Trial period: specify terms
• Do not proceed

Next Steps:What happens next

Follow-up Date: _______________

Examples of Productive Concern Conversations

Example 1: Reliability Concern - Positive Outcome

Leader: "When I talked to your previous bandleader, they mentioned that you missed several rehearsals last year. Can you tell me about that?"

Candidate: "Yeah, that was a really tough time. My dad was sick and I was helping my mom with his care. I should have communicated better with the band about what was going on. I was trying to keep everything together and didn't want to burden them. Looking back, I should have been more upfront about my situation. Since then, I've learned to communicate earlier when I have conflicts, and my dad's doing much better now."

Leader: "I appreciate you being honest about that. That sounds like a really difficult situation. How would you handle something like that now if it came up?"

Candidate: "I'd let you know as soon as I knew there might be an issue, and I'd be clear about what I could and couldn't commit to. I've also gotten better at asking for help instead of trying to do everything myself."

Assessment: Manageable - honest explanation, evidence of learning, specific plan for future.

Example 2: Interpersonal Conflict - Red Flag

Leader: "I heard there was some conflict in your last band. Can you tell me about that?"

Candidate: "Yeah, the drummer was impossible to work with. He was always late, never prepared, and had a terrible attitude. I tried to talk to him about it but he just got defensive. Eventually I told the rest of the band it was him or me."

Leader: "What was your role in the conflict?"

Candidate: "I was just trying to hold everyone accountable. Someone had to say something."

Leader: "How did you approach those conversations with the drummer?"

Candidate: "I was direct. I told him he needed to step up or leave."

Assessment: Red flag - no self-awareness, blaming others entirely, no acknowledgment of their role in the conflict.

Example 3: Skill Concern - Positive Outcome

Leader: "I noticed you seemed less comfortable with the jazz tune we played. Is that style new for you?"

Candidate: "Yeah, I'm definitely more experienced with rock and pop. I've been wanting to develop my jazz skills, which is actually part of why I'm interested in this band. I've been taking lessons and working on it, but I'm not at the level I want to be yet. Would that be a problem?"

Leader: "How quickly do you typically pick up new styles?"

Candidate: "Pretty quickly once I understand the vocabulary. I'm a dedicated practicer and I'm willing to put in the work. Would you be open to me taking a few weeks to get up to speed on the jazz repertoire?"

Assessment: Manageable - honest about current level, shows initiative, willing to work, asks good questions.

Key Takeaways

1. Address concerns directly - Don't make decisions based on incomplete information
2. Create safe space - Make it easy for candidates to be honest
3. Listen more than talk - Their response tells you everything
4. Look for patterns - One incident vs. ongoing issues
5. Assess growth - Have they learned and changed?
6. Trust your gut - If something feels off, it probably is
7. Document everything - Keep records of conversations and decisions
8. Be fair but firm - Give chances where appropriate, but know your dealbreakers

Conclusion

Addressing concerns directly is a sign of a healthy band culture. It demonstrates that you value honest communication, give people fair chances, and make informed decisions. The way you handle these conversations sets the tone for how your band will handle difficult topics in the future.

Remember: The goal isn't to catch people in lies or find reasons to reject them. The goal is to understand the full picture and make the best decision for your band. Sometimes that means proceeding with clear expectations, sometimes it means recognizing it's not the right fit. Either way, handling it with respect and honesty serves everyone well.